It’s Gettin’ Hot Up Here

And my deodorant is not holding up! As a stay-at-home-mom, our days can be filled to the brim with all sorts of chaos, a lot of which often means we work up a sweat (especially when you are constantly running up and down three levels of a townhouse). About a year ago, we made the movement to using greener products, when I say “we” I really mean “me” since I am the one that is in charge of all the household supplies. Well, at first it was an easy switch to do: change out our soaps to this guy:

Which contains absolute heaven in a bottle (so many uses besides cleaning dirty kiddos)! Don’t pay any mind to the crazy scribbling writing on the label, it makes no sense whatsoever but it does provide plenty of entertainment for when you are waiting the five minutes before washing out a hair mask. I personally LOVE the peppermint one (it makes your skin tingle) but the kiddos use the baby version because of their sensitive skin which is just as awesome though it does garner strange looks from family members since it’s the hemp formula.

And this gem:

which is amazing and wonderful thanks to the Dead Sea salts, but be warned if you are not careful it will turn patches of skin orange like poor Padawan’s scab from scrapping his face on floor (don’t ask, he got his mama’s grace).

I have got to say that many of the switches were easy, no real side affects well except for changing my son’s forehead orange and making less of a dent in my pocketbook since switching out home-made cleaners for the more expensive chemical based ones. The real hiccup was switching out my beloved Dove deodorant and I really didn’t want to change it out. I had been in a committed relationship with it for as long as I could remember and it never once let me down. Well back up to last week when my stick of underarm “wonder woman back-up” was  seriously getting low and a routine Target stock up trip was in full swing. I spent a whole five minutes trying to decide if I was breaking up or staying in my committed relationship. The hubs reminded me that it wouldn’t hurt to try the “green” deodorant so I quickly tossed it into the cart and ran before I talked myself out of it.

It had been a week of trying out the “green”‘goods and it was going pretty well despite waking up smelling a little fresher than I would like but it was nothing a little Bronners would not fix. That was until the day before my husband’s work BBQ when I got my chance to work out while Little Miss was napping. She of course woke up half-way through my workout (not that I minded, chaturanga push ups are the devil). So there I sat in my sweaty workout gear tending to a hungry babe in a very hot house.

And then I smelled something. Something funky, really funky. I was oddly taken back to my undergraduate classes especially the ones early Friday mornings when all the guys were sleeping in the back of the class (one of the reasons I always avoided that area). What was that smell?!?! I checked the babe’s diaper, nope not there. I knew it couldn’t be the cat box, that was down on a whole other level of the house. Could it be Padawan, who is sadly entering the smelly boy phase, nope he was downstairs watching Star Wars.

Oh. My God. It’s me! Seriously I have never smelled this bad before and I have done some pretty smelly work; worked in a paper mill, spent summers in the heat digging in the dirt all day, cleaned carpets in schools with no AC in the middle of the summer; but this was an all time low or high in my personal stink meter. I smelled bad, really bad. It was a cross between the smell you get after drinking all night and man musk; ode to a frat boy was playing in my pits and that just wasn’t going to fly. I started panicking due to the impending company BBQ my husband’s work was putting on the next day, what if the stink lasted that long and what was causing it? Good God, I could not meet his co-workers and bosses for the first time smelling like I had spent the previous night doing keg stands and then stand there holding Little Miss!

So after a much needed shower I grabbed the stick of deodorant, the only thing that had changed in my personal hygiene routine, and read the ingredients once more for the first time and do you see it, look closely it’s there.

Hops. I have been rubbing beer in my armpits! No wonder I smell like the guys in my Friday morning undergrad classes.

I am most defiantly glad grateful that my preparedness of always having a travel supply of beauty products on stand-by included a mini-size of my trusted friend Dove cause there was no way I am was going to  rub beer in my pits before my husband’s work BBQ. Needless to say I am not using beer laced deodorant anytime in the near future!


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